


anchor

by yerimoney



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Day At The Beach, Established Relationship, F/F, One Shot, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24523441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yerimoney/pseuds/yerimoney
Summary: and i hear a storm is coming in, my dear has it all we've ever been?(joohyun aches for a redemption arc of her own.)
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Park Sooyoung | Joy
Kudos: 27





	anchor

“i’m really tired, sooyoung,” joohyun sighs.

the ocean beyond them stretches far and wide, the tide rushing in in gentle strokes. they reach the tip of her shoes before they fade away, leaving behind wet sand.

_really_ doesn’t quite cut it. not the way it should. not the way she wants it to. “i’m very tired,” she tries again.

sooyoung doesn’t say anything beside her. the wind whips against both their faces, a stark contrast to the blue sea below. the sky is grey and the clouds close in. maybe there’s a storm coming. neither of them move anyway.

“i know,” sooyoung says after some time.

the world stays silent, and it almost looms on a crash.

“cruel world, huh?” sooyoung says in response. it doesn’t do any wonders for joohyun, but her voice is always a salve to the heart. “you’d say it’s boring.”

she thinks back to just an hour ago, when they had first arrived in the car. sooyoung only tossing the coin back and forth between her hands with her eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. 

“what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

there’s a _tsk_ from sooyoung, and joohyun smiles. she knows in truth that sooyoung couldn’t be more indifferent to words like that. “nothing,” she says at first. then a pause. “okay, well,” she starts to confess. “don’t you think it’s a little boring? we should’ve at least brought the tuna servings.” 

joohyun snorts. “is that seriously the biggest of your worries right now? tuna servings on a beach day?”

sooyoung rolled her eyes then, only opening the door to step out. “come on, let’s go.”

“what are you thinking about?”

joohyun whips her head to find sooyoung staring directly at her, lips pursed in a concerned line. she’s found this expression of hers on occasion before.

and the truth spills out, one by one - “i don’t know how you love me,” it almost comes out with a choke, her fingers digging deep into the sand - when the other girl doesn’t turn away does she let out the breath she’s been holding in. her voice feels foreign, it feels somber. “i’ve hurt so many people, sooyoung.” she says, softly.

she doesn’t have to look down to realize another hand on hers. sooyoung’s warmth speaks volumes (after all, isn’t that what loving sooyoung has all been about?)

“i know,” but for once, the statement feels guttural too. and the horror starts creeping into joohyun’s heart, making its gentle way up her throat.

the next confession comes in a whisper, comes as pretty-looking wrapping that hides the words _“i’ll hurt you too, and you’ve known that.”_ “you know i can’t be saved,” it feels like a plead, a flighty response of her body.

her hand is upturned, with sooyoung’s left hand on joohyun’s wrist and dainty fingers barely touching the rest. and as those fingertips begin tracing the callouses, trailing every line and every scar, she stills. 

she only realizes it’s transfixation when her eyes finish at the line of sooyoung’s jaw and realizes she has nothing else to look at anymore. so her eyes flick back up again, starting at the crown of her lover’s head and lingering just a bit longer on sooyoung’s eyes.

sooyoung gazes at her hands like they’re there. and they haven’t been for a long time, all the while drowning under the blood they’ve spilled. 

“i can’t be saved either,” sooyoung murmurs. 

how coincidental could it be? joohyun wonders. to have found sooyoung.

“do you think i can be saved?” she asked once, looking up at the girl with a pounding heart and wild eyes. she’d just woken up from a nightmare.

she’d gotten a tilt of the head from sooyoung, she remembers. she’d been sitting up against the headboard, propping a book on her lap. “i don’t know,” she admitted. “but i could try.”

the waves gain another inch on her shoes, and she knows they don’t have that much time left. so she acts.

her hand lifts to cup sooyoung’s face, and almost instinctively the other girl leans into her touch, eyes shutting close. the hand on hers stills.

she focuses on everything around her - the rumble of thunder only a few miles away, the wind in her hair, the crashing of the waves. the feeling of sooyoung’s skin.

“what are you waiting for?” she hears.

joohyun pulls her in close and kisses her, tasting salt on her lips. and once again, sooyoung proves her right - the world falls away in that moment, and joohyun wonders why she cared at all.

the waves continue with their frothing, the wind continues to beat, and maybe the rain has come down in its droplets. but they keep each other steady.

**Author's Note:**

> i suppose this is another projection fic of mine. i know pain and suffering is my brand in all of these projection fics, but they all do have this tint of "am i really so rotten that i can't be a good person anymore? i've hurt so many people - what makes anyone think i'm not a bad person? can i still try?" and i think this is just the comfort i wish i could be given, by myself or anyone else. i know sooyoung doesn't actually say any concrete advice, nor does she promise any real redemption arcs for joohyun. for this one, i just needed her to be gentle.


End file.
